#and realizing that no one’s gonna give you a cosmic cooking for all the self flagellating and cracking the whip lol..

[baravaggio]

I think one of the best things you can keep in mind as you age is that the strong desires you have to drastically change your life in impractical and destabilizing ways don’t speak to mental weakness or lack of self control but routine neglect of the day to day needs of certain parts of yourself…I think a lot of people are scared to let those parts of themselves take the reins even if just for a little while because they’re afraid that untamed part of them will completely abandon rationality and veer them irreparably off track. When the reality is that when left unattended in smaller more day to day ways, those parts of you will take charge whether you like it or not in more risky and disruptive ways lol. And there’s no way to create perfect balance between all these selves, really the best you can do is be nice to yourself and make small accommodations and trust that teaching those parts of you that they WILL have their needs met and that their desires (even the childish and impractical ones) aren’t stupid is the only way to really live without going nuts 😮‍💨

[gayrett-hawke]

Getting to Know Hawke

Basics

Name: Garrett Hawke

Age at the start of their game: 27 (born 30 Firstfall, 9:03 Dragon)

Gender: Male

Sexual orientation: Gay

Race: Human

Class: Mage

Height: 6'4"

Weight: 227 lbs

Eyes: Brown

Hair color/texture: Black; Wavy (not that you can tell with how short it normally is)

Skin tone: Ivory

Do they tan or freckle?: He definitely tans, and he gets some freckles too, but they're so faint, it's hardly noticeable

Any distinctive physical characteristics?: Other than being a big, beefy boy with a fabulous beard? Just some scars here and there, most notably the one across his nose that he usually covers with war paint

Personality

Personality type: ESFP-T

Optimist, pessimist, or realist?: Realist

Best traits:

Charming

Friendly

Outgoing

Compassionate

Loyal

Worst flaws:

Self-Deprecating

Foolhardy

Soft-Hearted

Audacious

Evasive

Tropes that apply to them:

All-Loving Hero

Almighty Janitor

Aloof Big Brother

Badass Unintentional

Because Destiny Says So

Benevolent Boss

Beware the Silly Ones

Big Brother Instinct

Bullying a Dragon

The Caretaker

Casual Danger Dialogue

The Charmer

Cosmic Plaything

Deadpan Snarker

The Dutiful Son

Failure Hero

Fight Magnet

Friend to All Children

Heroic Self-Deprecation

Hurting Hero

It's All My Fault

Let's Get Dangerous!

Living Emotional Crutch

Magic Knight

Magnetic Hero

Modest Royalty

Must Make Amends

Nay-Theist

Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!

Non-Idle Rich

Obfuscating Stupidity

One-Man Army

Properly Paranoid

Rage Breaking Point

Reluctant Warrior

Right Man in the Wrong Place

Royals Who Actually Do Something

Sad Clown

Seen It All

The Snark Knight

Warrior Therapist

You Are Better Than You Think You Are

Are there any songs that particularly suit them?:

Forever Young by Youth Group

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Warriors by Imagine Dragons

Smile by Nat King Cole

For You I Will by Tata Young

If yes, would they agree with your selections?: Yeah, probably, but he might prefer I leave out the 4th one

Preferences

Favorite color: Red

Favorite animal: DRAGONS!

Taste in clothing: Casual. Anything that's comfortable, sturdy, and at least somewhat decent-looking

How do they feel about mage rights?: Would like some, thank you

How do they feel about the other races of Thedas?: As long as the personality is decent, he gets along with them. Also, Qunari are big and strong, and he admires them from an aesthetic point of view

Are they religious?: Not especially, but he technically was raised Andrastian

If they were to find themselves in a modern AU

Favorite food: Burgers

Drink order: Dark and Stormy, Old-Fashioned, or Whiskey Sour

What would they wear for a night out?: An obnoxiously-tight black t-shirt, a red flannel with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of jeans, and some black Doc Martens

Song(s) that would be sure to get them on the dance floor:

Take on Me by a-ha

Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

All Star by Smash Mouth

Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

Ma Ya Hi (Dragostea Din Tei) by Dan Balan and Lucas Prata

What Is Love by Haddaway

Careless Whisper by George Michael

Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

YMCA by Village People

Rasputin by Boney M

U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye

September by Earth, Wind, and Fire

College major: Kinesiology or Paleontology, maybe

Ideal date: Amusement Park

Favorite movie and/or film genre: Shrek 2; Comedy

Family/Friends/Love Life

Relationship with their parents: Garrett was very close to Malcolm. As the firstborn and a fellow mage, he had plenty of time to bond with his father and follow in his footsteps. His relationship with Leandra wasn't as solid, though. He always wanted to make her proud, but she put a lot on him after his father died, and he mostly just accepted that she needed someone to take her pain out on

Siblings (outside of canon): Surprising or no, Hawke really loves Carver. He's not great at being serious and all that, but he does actually care and would do anything for his younger brother. He also realizes how much Carver has had to deal with and is willing to be an emotional punching bag whenever he needs it. His relationship with Bethany was a lot better, since they spent a lot of time learning magic together, and she was more willing to let loose than Carver. She was his rock, and the rest of the family's too, and her loss affected him deeply

Best friend(s): Varric, Isabella, Anders (initially), and Inquisitor Adaar (if she is able to exist in the RP)

Companion(s) they get along best with: Fenris, Isabella, Varric, Merrill, and Anders (initially)

Companion(s) they get along worst with: Carver (one-sided), Sebastian, and Anders (eventually)

Companion(s) from other games in the series you wish they could meet, and why: Alistair back when he was a Grey Warden, just because of the sheer amount of goofy himbo energy they both have

Age of sexual debut: Probably around 16 or 17 (but please don't be creepy about it; mun is ace and is only basing this age on what they heard about from their peers in high school)

Romanced: Fenris (RPs will not go beyond flirting with anyone he met after this man who stole his heart)

Relationship status as of the end of Inquisition: Partners

Are there any songs that particularly suit their romance?:

All On Me by Devin Dawson (with altered gender terms)

Did I Mention by Jeff Lewis and Mitchell Hope (again, altering gendered vocabulary)

Arms by Christina Perri

Latch by Sam Smith

What are they like as a romantic partner?: Snarky and playful, but ultimately putty in his partner's hands. He's a bit of a hopeless romantic and will turn his whole life upside down to please the one he loves. Also prone to grand romantic gestures and spontaneous displays of affection

Do they enjoy cuddling?: Absolutely!

Do they want children?: Not particularly

Do they (now or eventually) have children?: No

Skills

Can they cook?: A bit

Can they sing/play an instrument?: Sing? Sure. Play an instrument? No

Are they a good dancer? If not, do they do it anyway?: He can be, but it's much more fun to goof off and entertain the people around him

Do they have any creative hobbies?: Not really

Any martial training beyond their main weapon?: Malcolm trained him in swordfighting before his magic kicked in

Languages spoken: The common tongue and a bit of Tevene he picked up from Fenris

Any other unique skills they'd like us to know about?: He's pretty talented at drinking, but anything else he'd like you to know probably wouldn't be appropriate to repeat

Template

[starwhispcrs]

3. which muse is the trickiest to get into character for? & 13. what’s a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses?

@itsacriime // multimuse asks !!

3. which muse is the trickiest to get into character for?

it's a tie between aoyun and kyungmin !! out of the four who are currently aware, those two are the most cosmic. aoyun is especially difficult to get into his mindset solely because of the way he talks, which is confusing and vague more than it isn't. kyungmin gives me a run for my money when getting into his mindset too, if only because, while he speaks more like every day people, he treads a very fine line between cosmicness and humanness that i try to portray in his actions and thoughts and reactions.

13. what's a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses?

gonna throw these under a read more to save space !

JIWON is the only one to remember every single past life ! he is completely unaware that he’s the only one to remember, but he hopes these memories help more than they hinder.

YOUNGSOO got his tattoo while tipsy ! he knows getting inked while under the influence of alcohol is bad because blood thinning and all that, but it was the only way he could sit still long enough to get it.

JUNSEO is oddly passionate about mixed drinks - as in, if drunk enough, he can and will go on a tirade about how certain mixers don't go as well with certain alcohols, and how he can definitely be a bartender who does it right.

AOYUN dreams of the other twelve ! he doesn’t realize that those dreams are about his kin spread across the globe, thinks they’re memories of their lives before or wishful dreams of them meeting again.

HOJIN can recite the entirety of some studio ghibli films by heart ! though he doesn’t drink except for social events and celebrations, get a couple in him and you’ll find him quoting those movies !

KYUNGMIN is self taught in cooking ! every recipe he has perfected was through his own trial and error, his own determination to perfect it. it’s a hobby not many people are aware of, as it’s one of his subtler ways of showing love and appreciation for people.

HOSUNG can’t drive ! equal parts because he grew up a rich kid with a personal chauffeur, and equal parts because, by the time he truly became independent, his chronic night terrors were so bad that he didn’t trust himself behind the wheel.

DAEHO yearns for the simplicity and awe from before ! when he first became aware, it was something exciting, amazing, unreal. now, because he is terribly alone separated from the others, he thinks it a damnation and a crutch more than anything.

MINJUN is ridiculously good at shadow puppets & voice mimicry ! he spent his free time in the orphanage entertaining himself, as he was rarely asked to be seen by potential parents, and those are two hobbies he taught himself.

CHUNYU is always bruised up ! when he’s really in his element, taking countless pictures, he loses awareness and spatial perception, to the point he’ll start bumping into every little thing and only become aware of it when the bruises start hurting.

KWANGSU actually really loves amusement parks and rollercoasters ! something about being in a socially acceptable situation where he can scream his head off without being judged is... very cathartic.

HYUNJUN has a shellfish allergy ! which he only learned because a friend in high school brought bugs to try. that was the wildest way to learn he can't eat shellfish - and yes, he will still try to eat some shellfish.

INSU has a mobile game that he’s been playing for two years now ! it’s one of those turn-based, fantasy rpgs, and it’s one of the little things in his life that he allows himself to enjoy.

[metalbatandzenko]

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

oof this one is gonna be so long™ so it’s going under the cut.

Let’s talk about the slow dance scene in Hidden Horns. Specifically Badd and Garou’s slow dance.

First thing is that this scene actually got written before most of the rest of the fic. It wasn’t originally going to be part of HH, I wrote it bc I was listening to Orville Peck’s album Pony, and when this song came on, I thought it sounded like a fun song to slow dance to. It also made me yearn but that’s besides the point. 

Anyways let’s get into it.

Badd guided Garou’s hands to his hips. “‘m not a kid like Zen is, y’can hold me.”

Garou blinked, doing his best to focus on anything other than the warm weight of Badd’s hands on his shoulders or the feeling of Badd’s hips between his hands.

Garou’s a disaster. If you’ve ever seen middle schooler’s slow dance with the stiff zombie arms, that’s basically what he was doing. Which if you’ve ever been in that position, you know it’s not super comfortable for either party, nor is it sustainable bc of that.

But putting his hands on Badd’s hips might have been even more dangerous to Garou. Badd’s kind of a walking contradiction: he’s gruff but he’s sweet, rough but also gentle, muscular yet graceful. Garou’s kind of been seeing that first hand, but now he’s feeling it for himself in the way Badd moves and the feeling of muscle shifting under his finger tips.

There’s also the implied trust that Badd is showing in draping his arms around Garou’s neck on both ends. They’re both putting themselves in a vulnerable position where the other could easily overpower them if they strike first. Their willingness to be in this position with one another is kind of part of the evolution of their dynamic. 

I left a lot of that unsaid both because of the fact that having that analysis mid fic kind of kills the pacing and fic. Also this is done in the rhythm and tempo of Roses Are Falling, and while it’s a slow song, it’s not at a standstill.

“Back on the run,”

“Her reflexes are scary fast,” Garou remarked.

“Back to the blue…”

Badd chuckled. “Yeah. Sometimes she’s too fast even fer me t’track.”

One of the reasons I decided to put this scene in HH versus saving it for another fic is because of the lyrics of the song. There’s some fun foreshadowing and parallels between what is happening and what the lyrics are saying that I thought would work really well for this fic.

I also think this works well as a little nod to the actual canon of OPM and a potential way their relationship could evolve from here. So we get the compare and contrast throughout the passage of where the characters in HH are versus where their canon counterparts might be.

“Roses Are Falling” is, by Orville Peck’s own admission, a song about “loving someone so much you kind of want to kill them.” While I don’t think Badd and Garou have that kind of relationship, I think there’s some truth to the lyrics and this idea of being isolated together, which we also see in “Kansas Remembers Me Now” and “Big Sky”, the two other Orville Peck songs featured in this section.

Zenko’s a pretty safe topic for the boys to discuss. Badd can talk about her for hours on end, and Garou adores her. If they have one spot of common ground, it’s Zenko.

“Winning is fun,”

“She’s gonna pass you up soon,” Garou said.

“Losing is, too…”

Badd gave him a confused look.

“You know, in terms of athletic abilities.”

“Roses are fallin’, roses from fallin’ for you,”

Badd smacked Garou’s neck, feigning offense, but Garou saw the small smile on his face.

Slow dancing is incredibly intimate (even in a platonic setting. Platonic slowdances still require a lot of trust and vulnerability). Especially for two people grappling with unspoken feelings like these two idiots.

Garou definitely feels that tension at this point and tries to diffuse it in a way that’s worked for them in the past: by jokingly poking fun at Badd.

The lyrics here felt fitting to me. The two of them are highly competitive, but they’ve gotten to a point where just the act of being together is more important than winning. They kind of verbally spar for a lot of their relationship, but here we see them just enjoying each other’s company.

“Ooh…”  

The two swayed at an arm’s distance.

“The ache inside the hate–I found a way to sit and wait, and now I can’t: your voice–your face–without a trace–I’ll wait for you…”

“‘s awkward swayin’ this far apart,” Badd huffed.

He pulled Garou close enough that their noses almost touched.

For much of their friendship, Badd’s been the one acting as the initiator. He suggests the sleepover, he cooks for Garou, he introduces truth or dare, which becomes their coded language for opening up, etc. It makes sense for him to be the one to initiate here.

Garou in HH has pretty much the same backstory as he does in canon, he just didn’t go off the rails because he met Tareo earlier. But it was important to me to make sure the fact he still didn’t know how to interact/make friends his age was front and center. He doesn’t initiate many of the “friendship milestones” because he doesn’t know what to do. All this is new ground for him. 

The fact Badd even wants to be his friend is unprecedented and completely unexpected to him. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t initiate anything. He takes Zenko to school so Badd can heal, he meets Madame Oshitani, he asks Badd how he’s feeling and offers his ear when it’s clear something’s bothering him. 

Badd is very intentional about how he goes about interacting with Garou because he knows Garou’s never had a friend like him before. Garou by contrast, does things just to be helpful and worries about being a good friend/if he’s doing it right, not realizing he’s already being a good friend.

Garou’s normally so direct and unabashed, so having this spot where he’s more self-conscious and awkward is a fun reversal. And it’s pretty canon compliant given how he interacts with Tareo.

We see them kind of switch roles later, where Garou takes the lead during their orange chicken talk.

The lyrics here have two roles: it kind of mimics how I think their canon relationship could progress like I mentioned earlier (from hate to irritation to begrudging respect and love) but also shows their unspoken fear of what could happen in HH: they blow up and each becomes a face that the other can’t forget, but can’t go back to.

It’s not a fear that has gotten addressed super directly thus far, (we see a little bit in the upcoming chapter) the closest being the non-conversation the two have about what is left unsaid.

“Roses are fallin’ for you…”

The first thing Garou noticed was how good Badd smelled. Seems his sleep addled brain hadn’t been wrong after all.

Garou is in Gay Panic™ mode here. 

I described Badd in an earlier chapter as smelling like aftershave and freesia. I wanted to give him a smell that kind of combined his classic style with something gentler, and more sweet. 

Freesia is usually a smell in women’s perfumes, but it’s one I think he’d appreciate. And I don’t see him being one to give a fuck about gendering smells.

“You…”

Badd draped his arms around Garou’s neck and averted his gaze.

Garou watched in wonder as Badd’s lashes fluttered.

Up as close as he was and borderline drunk off how good Badd’s smelled, Garou stared unabashedly at his face.

He looked so, devastatingly beautiful.

Garou staring here is kind of a callback to the conversation they have early on about Garou ogling at Badd/Badd making fun of him for it.

There’s an openness here that’s different than the last time Garou really looked at Badd. Before, he was admiring him and his power. Here, we see him taking in a more delicate side of Badd, and Badd just letting him look at him. We’re seeing him take in Badd’s lashes, and calling him beautiful. It’s a new facet of who Badd is, and a new contradiction for Garou to grapple with: powerful, yet delicate.

If you’ve ever been with someone and you’re standing next to one another and you can see them staring at you from the corner of your eye and you keep pretending to look out at something in the distance because it’s easier than making eye contact and having to sort out what that gaze means, that’s essentially what is happening here.

Badd’s aware Garou’s staring at him, and he knows why. But he’s not ready to meet his gaze yet. Especially not if Garou himself isn’t ready.

“Under your skin, over the moon…”

He prayed Badd wouldn’t look up so he could continue to look at him.

“Don’t let me in, I don't know what I’d do…”

Because if Badd did, and Garou saw what he thought he would in Badd’s eyes, it would devastate him.

This is a callback to Garou refusing to make eye contact when he’s laughing about Badd’s indignation over pigeons because he knows whatever Badd’s gaze holds will devastate him. 

Garou equally fears the two ways it will devastate him. Either he looks up, sees the warmth in his gaze, and falls for Badd, only to find out his feelings aren’t reciprocated, or his feelings are, and he’s thrust into a new landscape to navigate that leaves him vulnerable and exposed, and threatens to tear apart their friendship.

In Ch.9/What’s Left Unspoken, I originally planned on having a metaphor that kind of embodied that second fear. Garou can almost picture a strand of spider silk connecting him and Badd. Something so delicate and new, that he almost didn’t want to acknowledge it. Because doing so would cosmically shift their dynamic, and if that thread got severed, it could threaten their whole relationship. I ended up cutting it because I couldn’t get the metaphor quite right and it brought the chapter to a standstill.

“Roses are fallin’, roses from fallin’ for you…”  

Badd began to turn his head, but before their eyes could meet, Garou looked away.

“Ooh…”

Garou could feel Badd’s gaze raking over him. From the corner of his eye, he saw his lips part.

Here we’re seeing that fear controlling Garou a bit. He doesn’t know what’s in Badd’s gaze, and he thinks if he avoids it, he can avoid the change in their dynamic all together. 

But some part of him wants to know, and is screaming for him to turn his head, potential consequences be damned. 

“You know, darling, you bring out the worst in me…”

Garou steeled his nerves and looked directly at Badd.

“Sometimes when I’m around you, I feel like pure evil…”

He’d been right. The tenderness he found in Badd’s eyes devastated him.

The second song line here is...very much how Garou views himself in canon, and to a lesser extent, in this AU.

He still hasn’t forgiven himself for what he might have done, and when he sees Badd, and his gentleness, kindness and optimism despite how the world has treated him and Zenko, it makes him question hero-dom more than he already does.

And we’re seeing Garou discover what is in Badd’s eyes. Garou has a harder time reading Badd than Badd does reading him, so what he finds in Badd’s eyes is unreadable to him, hence why the statement is left vague in terms of what he finds there.

“I guess they say nobody's perfect…”

Badd’s gaze flicked down to Garou’s lips.

“But they’ve never met a devil like you…”

The lyrics here feel spot on, especially to end the muscial interlude to. Garou knows Badd isn’t perfect and vise versa, but they still accept one another. The lyrics kind of foreshadow Badd and Garou’s heart to heart about why they think they’re bad people. 

Badd’s action here are really what solidify Garou’s understanding of what he’s seeing in Badd’s eyes. 

Before he realized what he was doing, Garou was leaning in, closing the small gap between them.

And when he sees the warmth there, and knows his feelings are reciprocated, he leans in, more intentionally taking the role of the initiator for the first time.

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 10.2: Hiper-Billirubinado

[Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: What could be more romantic than letting your SO sleep in and make them a delicious brunch spread?! Edge can actually think of a lot of things, but if Stretch really wants him to eat these chicken and waffle things, then its his husband’s good luck he married such an accomodating, nice guy. 

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Edge (Underfell Papyrus)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! (Implied) Mood swings! Very eager to please Stretch and very confused Edge! Domestic Fluff! Cooking and cooking mishaps! 

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Title based on the Juan Luis Guerra song “Me Sube la Billirubina.”

Oye, y me trastearon hasta el alma They even poked around my soul Con rayos equis y cirugía With x-rays and surgeries Y es que la ciencia no funciona And it turns out science just doesn’t work Sólo tus besos, vida mía Just your kisses, my life

It was mortifying to be sleeping in. Ever since he was a child, Edge had always been an early riser. There was always so much to do, he sometimes wished he didn’t have to sleep at all! He was the one who woke people up! It was wrong on a cosmic level for Stretch, the king of naps and drowsy lazing around, to be awake before him. To be productive while Edge was still sleeping!

He was still trying to rub sleep out of his sockets, slippers padding on the wood floors quietly, when he entered the kitchen.

“Papí, no me-“ Edge shook his head, trying to focus on his words, “Don’t let me sleep late-“

Edge froze, taking in the sight of his kitchen. Used dishes and bowls all along the counter and in the sink, every single spoon they owned had different types of food stuck to them, and there were half-opened, half-used ingredients all around. The milk didn’t even have a lid on it.

“Good morning!” Stretch was cheerful and energetic, bouncing over to give him a hug. He was wearing a chef’s hat and that stupid  ‘Grill Sergeant’ apron. Edge would have appreciated that gift more if Stretch hadn’t also crammed every other food related pun he could find on the rest of the fabric. On both sides. “Did you sleep well, sweetheart?”

“Good morning. Too well.” Edge sighed, trying to force the irritation down by closing his eyes and focusing on the feel of Stretch’s arms around him. “Wake me up when you wake up, Papí.”

“If you’re tired, you should sleep. You obviously need it.” Stretch sighed, discreetly trying to  feel his forehead. With his oven mitts on. Mamerto. “The weekend is the one time you can do it guilt free, so gotta take advantage, no?”

“No.” Edge leaned up on his tiptoes to give his husband a quick kiss, taking the oven mitts off in the process. With growing trepidation, he looked over at the bubbling pot on the stove, “What are you cooking? It smells...” It wasn’t necessarily appetizing, but it wasn’t bad either. “Oil? Is that oil?”

��Yup! Your nose knows!” Stretch gestured to the stove by sweeping his hand, and Edge pulled his husband’s arm back by the sleeve before he could hit the handle. If Stretch noticed, he didn’t comment on it. “I’m making brunch today, and I wanted to give you the best, most underrated combination ever: chicken and waffles!”

It took all of Edge’s willpower not to grimace, “Waffles?” He squirmed away from Stretch to peer into the bubbling pot, “Pancake waffles? Honey and sprinkle waffles?”

“Exactly!” Stretch playfully bumped him to the side with his hip, picking up a plate with raw, breaded chicken. Edge crushed a hand to his mouth to keep from saying anything as some of chicken fell into the pot with a splash, sending oil spilling onto his nice, clean stovetop. “Whoops. I’ll clean it up later, don’t worry.”

Edge already had a paper towel at the ready, trying to push past his husband, “Move. Let me clean that-”

“Nope, I’m good!” Stretch gestured to the table just through the doorway, which was positively covered in food. “Go ahead, take a seat and dig in!” He put his hands on the small of Edge’s back, gently pushing him forward.

“What-?!” Edge started to protest, but reluctantly let himself be exiled from his kitchen. There were a variety of foods he recognized on the table: cornbread, pancakes, grits (ugh,) bacon and scrambled eggs (ughhh.) And a few things he didn’t recognize- Wait. Edge picked up a misshapen green lump with melted cheese starting to ooze out the side. Cautiously, he broke off a piece to nibble on. It was too salty, but the taste was unmistakable.

“Are these Greempanadas?” He called over his shoulder, picking up the light brown glass in front of his plate. On closer inspection, it was oatmeal that was starting to coagulate. “And Coolada?”

“Well! They’re supposed to be- I did my very best, called Red and everything!” Stretch yelled over the sound of frying chicken, and the repetitive ding of the oven. It was a struggle for Edge not to go rushing in there to deal with it himself. “I mean, I looked around but you don’t have any of your Underfell recipes written down anywhere!”

“Why would you do that?” Edge asked the easy question instead, rolling the glass around in his hand. The oatmeal remained stuck in place. Stretch probably just used that instant oatmeal packet. Menso. “You could have just asked me. I would have been happy to make them for you-“

“But then it wouldn’t be a surprise! And I wanted to try and make them for you!” Stretch finally turned the stove off, apparently done with the frying, and Edge let out a relieved breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “Like how you learned to make grits for me, even though you don’t even like them!”

Ah. This was a guilt thing, then. Why? What had Stretch done that he needed to be forgiven? He wasn’t still going on about the other day, was he? Edge didn’t like surprises, especially the kind of surprises without a clear motive. Well, Stretch was a terrible liar, and his conscience would have him breaking soon. Edge could be patient.

“And Red told you to use this much salt?” Edge tried to nibble off a little more, but it was so salty. What had his brother been thinking?

The oven dinged one more time. “Sort of!” Stretch continued ranting from the kitchen, oblivious. “Your brother is super unhelpful! He was like, ‘Put as much salt as you want, but not too much!’ and ‘Just a little bit of sugar and a dash of pepper!’ And then he got all mad at me when I asked for clarification, all ‘You got a tongue, don’t’cha?!’ Ugh!”

Edge crushed a piece of the Greempanada on his plate, sprinkling the chunks around like crumbs. He wrapped four of them in a paper napkin, tucking them into his inventory for later disposal. “Yes, Red is the absolute worst.”

“Yes! Well, I mean-“ Stretch cleared his throat uncomfortably, backtracking immediately, “Maybe it’s very obvious for Fell monsters, but for Stretch monsters, it’s like he’s speaking to me in Flowey. Like, really angry, aggressive Flowey.”

Edge smiled despite himself, shaking his head fondly. Stretch made another sound of annoyance, “So, yeah, I tried. There were some other things he was telling me but I didn’t know what those were, so I substituted some stuff.”

Ah. That would explain the paprika. A moment later, Stretch came out with two plates exactly as advertised: fried chicken on a waffle covered in... something. He started to hand a plate over, before hesitating to fidget a little self-consciously, “I know I’m not as great a cook as you are, but... I hope you like it anyway.“

He put the plates down on the table with a sigh, smile anxious and strained, “This was one of my favorite things as a kid, so I wanted you to try it, ‘cause you’re always giving me all of this delicious things from Underfell-“ Stretch started worrying at his ring, “And I appreciate it, you know? I love your cooking and I love you, and I want you to feel as happy as I do when you share this kind of stuff with me, so I wanted to return the favor in a small way-“

Using the side of his fork, Edge cut off a piece of both chicken and waffle, swirling them in the sticky, brown sauce. Bracing himself, he carefully took a bite. The taste was... indescribable. He wouldn’t call it delicious- the sauce was too sweet for the chicken but too salty for the waffle- but he could feel the care that went into it. The love put into the dish went straight to his soul like a hug, and Edge could honestly look up and say, “It’s good.”

“Is it?!” Stretch was in his lap in a moment, arms tight around his chest as he knocked their skulls together, “Blue makes them with bourbon-maple glaze, but that has alcohol, and I didn’t wanna risk it. Yeah, yeah, cooking it makes the alcohol disappear but I’m not gonna take any chances with Pancake!”

Stretch was incredibly talkative today. Not enough to worry, not yet, but enough to definitely monitor. “Like, I want my kid to have this sometime too, but I figured it’d be better when they were born! Yeah, they can get some from symbiosis right now, maybe, but it’s not the same-“ Edge cut off another piece of the chicken and waffle, popping it into his husband’s mouth mid-explanation.

“Yes.” He agreed amicably, keeping his arm around his husband’s waist to keep him from fleeing. He put another piece of food against Stretch’s mouth before he finished swallowing the first, “I’m sure they’ll like it.”

Especially if it was one of the first things they tried, before they developed a firm sense of taste and could speak out against it. And Edge would have plenty of time to undo the damage before Pancake could develop their other father’s sweet tooth.

[ Incident 1 ] [ Incident 2 - Here! ] [ Incident 3]

[askquillakuzco]

Task 001: About Me

Basics.

What is your full name?

“Quilla Malina Kuzco. Princess, Empress-To-Be.”

What is the meaning/story behind your name?

“I am named after the Inca goddess of the Moon—a significant contrast to the patron god of my people, the sun god Inti, who is also the ancestor of Sapa Inca like myself. I like to think this means I’m the embodiment of balance—a little ironic, though, considering how much I struggle with that.”

Do you have any nicknames?

“Q, Qi, Quills (Keys and sometimes Keels), Qui-Chain, QiQi, Shortcake.”

When and where were you born?

“April 1st in Cusco, Peru. Aries Sun, Sagittarius Moon, and Libra Ascendant, in case you’re curious.”

Current age?

“Sixteen years.”

Physical.

What is your eye color?

“Dark Brown.”

Do you ever wear glasses/contacts?

“Nope. Never needed ‘em, but those large-framed glasses do look super cute on me.”

Hair color?

“Black, with curls for days.”

Have you ever dyed your hair?

“Never completely. I do get highlights every now and then. Usually brown or blonde, sometimes purples, reds, or pinks.”

Height and body type?

“Five feet tall, stout. Fat, yes. Been trying to reclaim the word as something positive, or at least neutral. It’s difficult, sometimes, dealing with people’s reactions to the way I look, especially being a public figure, but I remind myself not to blame my body for their toxicity. I’m not most people’s idea of what a princess should look like, but honestly—eff your beauty standards.”

Do you have any birthmarks?

“A few little moles here and there. Beauty marks, I guess? One on the left side of my upper lip, one near my left collarbone, one on my upper back...I may have more I haven’t yet noticed, I guess?”

Any scars or other markings?

“No scars, but I do have a sun tattoo on my left upper arm. The mark of Inti, again, patron god of my people.”

What is your favorite and least favorite feature?

“I got gorgeous hair and a great as-...err...legs. I suppose I’m most self-conscious about my neck? Some days I’ll be okay with it, even like it, and other days...not so much.”

How would you describe your style?

“Flashy, fabulous, regal...mostly red. People are gonna stare, anyway. I figure I should give ‘em something to look at.”

Personality.

Positive traits?

“Brilliant, fashionable, connected, caring, and when angry...A force to be reckoned with.”

Negative traits?

“I’ve had people tell me I’m short-tempered—I swear to Inti, if any of you make a short joke right now, I’m gonna—ahem. I also tend to be a little...okay, a lot nosy. I’m a curious person, I can’t really help that! I’ve also been told I’m a bit of a spoiled brat, which I can’t completely disagree with. Daddy’s little girl, guilty as charged! I guess one trait I’d like to change in myself is all this insecurity and self-doubt I have in me. Folks have also told me that I can be petty, but sometimes I feel like I’m allowed to be, okay? Or maybe that’s the insecurity talking...maybe I am really petty.”

“Yeah...self-doubt. Boom. There it is.”

Are you more introverted or extroverted?

“Definitely extroverted. Talking to people, in general, gives me life. A few people can be draining, sure, but generally I draw energy from socializing.”

Do you have any talents?

“I excel at the sciences. Chemistry, in particular. I’m also pretty great at networking!”

Do you have a good memory?

“I like to think so, but I occasionally find myself worrying that I’m mis-remembering something. Ties back into the self-doubt thing. Something I still need to work through.”

Any fears/phobias?

“Letting myself succumb to my weakness. Allowing someone else to have me by the throat in every decision I need to make. I won’t let that happen again.”

What do you have a soft spot for?

My family and my friends, without a doubt...

Other than that, well...people who haven’t had a fair shot in life.

Any pet peeves?

I tend to take issue with any terms often used to put someone’s sanity into question. I used to use words like these a lot myself, so flippantly...without knowing just how much power they hold. It wasn’t until such words were used against me, to the point of my doubting my own reality, that I realized how dangerous they can be. I still find myself flinching anytime I hear them. Occasionally, I’ll disassociate, or have flashbacks...it’s kind of terrifying. I’ve given up on telling people to stop using these words around me, though. They’re so common in everyday language and I can’t exactly provide people with a strong enough argument for it, apparently.

Okay, so maybe it’s more than just a...pet peeve.

Does being annoyed at short jokes count as a pet peeve? Or people using me as an armrest?

Are you a good student?

I’m an honor roll student, honey.

What is your favorite/least favorite subject?

Favorite, definitely chemistry. I’ve had an affinity for it from a young age. Least? Cooking. You’d think having all this chemistry knowledge would help with that, but it really doesn’t. Cooking is a bit too vague and loose for my taste. I prefer exact measurements and consistency in method. I guess that’s why cooking is considered more of an art than a science? No disrespect to all you amaze chefs out there. It just ain’t my thing.

Family and Relationships.

Who are your parents?

Emperor Kuzco and Empress Malina. 

How would you describe them?

My father, Kuzco, is dramatic, cocksure, and a bit self-centered. At the same time, he’s loyal and willing to learn and do better. He’s also great fun at parties! My mother, Malina, is a hard-working, loving, and ambitious woman. However, she can be pretty demanding, overbearing, and critical from time to time. Both of my folks are pretty overprotective, too, so there’s that. It wasn’t until this past year that they finally let me out of the palace for a long period of time. And the first time they didn’t have any guards accompany me outside the palace walls.

Who is your best friend/Who are some of your close friends?

Kaja Birdwell. I’m not sure what I did to deserve such a beautiful, generous, and kind soul as a best friend. She’s been there for me, through so much. She was there for me when others weren’t. I trust her even more than I trust my own parents.

I’ve made some friends here in Auradon, as well, who I’ve become pretty close to. Among them, Cora, Cole, and Erika. I was hesitant in making new friends when I first came here. I was in a weird place, out of my parent’s palace on my own for the first time, and getting over a really bad relationship in which I had lost quite a few people in my life who I thought were my friends. Still, these few individuals managed to worm their way into my heart somehow. I’m still hesitant to let down my walls completely—they’re not Kaja—but I do feel like I can trust them.

What do you look for in a friend? 

Just...see me as a person. Not just as a...a connection, or an advice-machine. Not as something to toy with and manipulate...just...see me as a person—with feelings and fears, anger and doubts. See me at my best and my worst and take it all. I’ll surely do the same for you.

If you’re comfortable answering, what is your orientation?

Upside-down. Kidding!

I think the best way to describe it is that...I’m attracted to people, not genders. Pansexual is the term, I think.

Have you ever been in a relationship?

Yes. Tragically, yes. If I could undo it all, I would.

Have you ever been in love?

...Also yes. Also tragic.

What do you look for in a partner?

What I look for in a partner is kind of similar to what I look for in a friend. All of that, plus good chemistry, of course.

Do you believe in love at first sight or soulmates?

I believe in love at first impression. Say you love certain aspects of someone you initially see in them, not necessarily the whole person, but parts of them. As for the whole person, I don’t think that would go beyond infatuation. As for soulmates...no clue. It’s a cute thought, but it’s unfair to those who don’t find theirs. Why would some people have soulmates and others not? Sounds like some kind of cruel, cosmic joke meant to only benefit a few.

Do you see getting married and/or having children in the future?

I did think of it before, with my ex. Everytime I try to think of any of that now, I just...I keep seeing his face. He managed to opaquely paint over every rose-tinted fantasy I’ve ever had for the future, unfortunately. I’m sure it’ll pass someday, but for now I’m...pretty discouraged about it any of it actually happening. Or at least, happening in a way that I’d end up happy.

Favorites.

Top 3 Books: 

“The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements” by Sam Kean.

“The Andromeda Strain" by Michael Chrichton

“A Series of Unfortunate Events” by Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler

Top 3 Movies:

“The Andromeda Strain" based on the novel by Michael Chrichton

“Arrival”

“Young Frankenstein“

Top 3 Foods:

CandyCorn

Ceviche

Causa

Gingersnaps